I’ve never thought about this term before “domestication” until our team member Justin Foster recommended for me to read this book called “The Mastery of Self: A Toltec Guide to Personal Freedom by don Miguel Ruiz Jr. The book uses this term “domestication”. It states that “domestication is the system of control in the dream of the planet: it is the way we learn conditional love. Starting when we are very young, we are presented with either a reward or punishment for adopting the beliefs and behaviors of others in the dream. This system of reward and punishment, or domestication, is used to control our behavior. The result of domestication is that many of us give up who we really are in exchange for who we think we should be, and consequently we end up living a life that is not our own. Learning how to spot and release our domestication, and reclaiming who we really are in the process, is a hallmark of a master of self.”
I’m not sure what that means to you, but for me the sentence “the result of domestication is that many of us give up who we really are in exchange for who we think we should be, and consequently we end up living a life that is not our own.” I can think of many times in my life where I felt like my business was not what I wanted it to be. Or my life was not turning into the life I wanted it to be. I was working too many hours, not enough pay, employees were screwing up, customers were unhappy, and my business that I had was not even close to where I wanted it to be. Of course that led to frustration, feelings of failure, and not to mention financial struggles. The reason for me to put in the long hours and the return were not there, I felt trapped by my business.
At the same time I had friends, or saw businesses that were successful, so I knew deep inside me that there had to be a way to make my business successful. I wanted success, I knew I could build a successful business, because if I didn’t and my business was a failure, that meant I was a failure. I knew that my business success was up to me, me only as the leader.
Now, I was lucky. Lucky that I went through tough times, lucky that my business collapsed and I had to downsize. I was lucky because that’s what it took for me to rebuild it to learn what I did. That helped me change myself, my thoughts, and my business. I was just at the point that I was forced to do something. For me, that something was to have a small business, that was only a few employee’s, doing only the things I wanted to do, running the business the way that I wanted to run it, and doing business with who I wanted to do business with. I didn’t realize it at the time, but this was the key, rebuilding my business model around my wants and who I truly am.
I had spent all those years competing with my competition. Watching what they were doing and trying to copy them and do it a little better. Listening to others telling me what I should do, and formed my thinking that I could build a well known company that others would want to hire, if they only knew we provided a better service than the others. That is when I was domesticated. I was building a business around how others thought I should, and that’s what almost broke me.
Domestication is the perfect word for Free Thinkers. I believe a Free Thinking Entrepreneur must go through some type of frustration and hit rock bottom sometimes to get their eyes open to say to themselves “I have to be different, I must build my company like no other company is, so that I can differentiate myself in the marketplace”. We all get to where we are one way or another, this is just my story. Six years later after I made that one decision to change the way I thought, the way I did business, and who we were and who I wanted to become. That’s when I sold the business for 7 figures, with 14 employees, and the highest profit margins in 18 years. I will continue to share specific details of that conversion that I made, how I did it, and the general effect of success it had for me in future articles.
The point here I want to leave you with, is for you to look at where your domestication is. Where do you see yourself wanting to be different than others but somewhere in your mind there is resistance to a belief that you can’t quite see yet. That belief when it is found and changed, will change your life, your business, and give you the feeling of fulfillment that you’ve been searching for. When we are undomesticated we have found ourselves, by reclaiming who we really are.